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May 23, 2020

Kicking and Screaming

“There is a time for everything, and a season for everything under the heavens.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

As I type this, my son is practicing his new hobby, which entails standing in his crib and screaming with all of his 8 month old might. He is teething and incredibly overtired, yet he wants to exhibit this newfound joy of self assertion and standing--even though he has not found a way to sit down from holding onto the side rails. I have gone in to to comfort him and attempt to rock him to sleep, but his resistance is futile as he scales the crib again and again. As I try to focus on reading the chapter for tonight’s Bible study, I cannot help but realize that I have been exhibiting the same behavior towards God recently. 

As I’m sure that ladies who have little ones can attest to, the acclimation to motherhood can sometimes be quite a process. The Lord has been showing me more and more of himself and the supreme peace that he brings despite this crazy baseball lifestyle and parenting, but it has not been without kicking and screaming.

Call it my perfectionist, type-A personality (that He so lovingly blessed me with), but I have resisted the slower pace of life associated with rearing a baby. All of the naps and “days in” have literally torn me up inside with not being able to leave the house, do things on my own time, and check off my to-do list. I have attempted to continue at the same speed I had lived before having another precious life to take care of, which at the end of the day led me to be worn down, ragged, angry and wondering why everything was that much more difficult.

I have been standing in my crib, and asserting to God, “Why can’t things go MY way?!” Talk about a royal temper tantrum. Thank goodness he is so merciful, patient, and gracious! I have to remember that it is never about me, it is all about Him and his precious timing.

Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am God.” This has been a reverberant verse that He has been revealing to me daily, for it is during this phase in my life that He desires me to slow down, enjoy these fleeting moments, and soak up the lessons that He has in store. Each of us are in the moment that we are in right now because he desires us to be there. It is by no accident that he leads us down a certain path, yet many times we are so stubborn and strong willed that we resist the blessings he has in store for us.

Lately, instead of trying to do things my way and go against the grain, I have been trying to concede to his will. When my son naps, I take that as a time to grow in the word and rest myself. The to-do list can wait. There will be another time and season of my life for that.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, said the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:9) 

Prayer: Dear Lord, please forgive me for being a “control freak” when you alone are the supreme author of my life. Also forgive me for throwing childish temper tantrums and not bowing to your will. Help me to give every moment to you and take heart that you have a divine purpose behind every phase we endure. Thank you, Jesus.

Suggested Reading: Ecclesiastes 3

Maria Wieters

Baseball Chapel
P.O. Box 10102
Largo, FL 33773

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