Have you ever had a “head in your hands” moment? One of those times when you wonder, “How did I get here?” I remember sitting in a doctor’s office in Birmingham, Alabama while my husband was on a road trip and my stomach was in knots. My stomach had been killing me for weeks, and I was sure I was dying.
That’s when the doctor told me I was experiencing physical symptoms of…wait for it…stress.
My head fell into my hands as it hit me that my stress wasn’t the result of traveling to a new town or working odd jobs or handling the first years of marriage. Nope, my stress was caused from my laser-like focus on my husband’s career.
When will he be called up? What if he gets hurt? Why is that guy getting called up instead of us? What about those trade rumors?
I was a brand-new Christian, but instead of seeking the Lord in those early seasons, I was seeking worldly success…and making myself miserable because of it.
Now it’s one thing for our husbands to work hard and do their best to reach their ultimate goals in baseball, but it’s quite another thing to sacrifice our relationship with God on the altar of success.
I finally started seeking God and putting our baseball life into His hands. And for the first time in a long time, I felt His perfect peace wash over me.
And because it doesn’t always come naturally, I have had to constantly make the decision to seek God ever since.
This week at church, our pastor told the story of Rehoboam from 2 Chronicles. Rehoboam was the son of Solomon and grandson of David. He had everything lined up to be a great king. But “…he did evil, for he did not set his heart to seek the Lord.”
You see, a heart not deliberately set on seeking the Lord will always settle somewhere else. And anywhere apart from God is not a very good place to be.
And so, 14 years later, I continue to seek God season after season. Sometimes I slip, and that old pain digs its way back into the pit of my stomach. A Holy Spirit nudge to focus my heart back onto the Lord. But now, instead of going to the doctor, I go to my knees in prayer. And God meets me there every time.
How about you? What are you seeking? What is your heart set on this season?